A Chat with Mom...

Today I was pleasantly surprised with a phone call from my mother. I never know what to say to her anymore. She doesn't seem to remember to much of anything anymore. I guess that is the dementia. Anyway, it was good to hear her so happy and full of jokes and laughter. I can't remember the last time I heard her so happy. Apparently she has had a lot of company over the weekend and is feeling the stress of it all. I would truly love to see her again but for now have to content myself with the phone calls and pictures I have on my computer of her. Everyone at home says she has become frail and tiny. I just can't picture my mother as "frail" or tiny but, who am I to question what others see daily? Anyway, Mom seemed to be happy that I was happy. I told her that I am now a grandmother and she seemed a little confused at that. She asked how this was possible? I told her that Meg had had two babies and Sean had one. This being said, she seemed content to listen. I was (and this is very unusual for me) stumped as to what to say. This could very well be one of the last times I chat with Mom and all I could do was blab about absolutely nothing. For now, I will content myself though with the fond memories I have of her. Our countless shopping trips, donut stops and icecream cones will have to be my comfort in memory. I know my mother is dieing and she too knows this. She constantly asks why God won't give her her big green blanket (the grass) and let her lie in her brown bed (the earth) with her husband. Indeed, I have never known anyone who so desperately wants to die. I hope I can be comfortable with that when it actually does happen. That day, although not here yet, is not far away I am sure. Until then, I will make the most of the time she has left with us on this blue ball we call earth. I love my mom and want the most for her even now, if she wants to be with dad, then she should be with him no matter how it upsets me. Since he died 10 years ago, she has wanted to be with him. Sad when you think about it.